10-4, Message Received

“Okay” “Understood” “Got your transmission.” That’s what today’s date means according to Urbandictionary.com. The expression, it says, came about in Citizens’ Band (CB) radio lingo where  common phrases were represented in “ten codes.” They were often used by law enforcement officers for brevity and clarity of communication. I, of course, learned them on tv cop shows. Apparently, I am showing my age. I had to explain this to my 22 year old daughter.

Still, I chuckled at that thought when I wrote the date in my journal today. I wrote it AFTER I had already written several things that occurred to me on waking. I often do this – scribble down whatever is bubbling up and then go back to date it.

Apparently, my mind is still reeling around a particularly difficult event our community experienced recently – the death of a family of four. Reports say that the Dad, Al, distraught over the condition of the economy, politics, community and personal matters, took the life of his wife and 2 teen sons. It is so tragic.

Apparently, I took the plight of this family on my run this morning. It brought to mind a similar circumstance from my life. My mother took her life 30 years ago as she suffered with depression. She wasn’t thinking clearly and wanted to save us, her family, from enduring the weight of the burden she saw herself to be.  A friend and pastor later suggested to me that this act, inexplicable by us in our “right” minds, was the most loving act she could conceive of.

And then I thought of Al. Father and husband. He must have been considering taking his life. As I considered his plight and speculated on his thinking, this phrase lept to mind: “Don’t leave them home alone.” It’s not safe to leave your children defenseless against the bad that might happen to them. Clearly, Al no longer saw his life and home a safe place. Could it have been that it was his love for his family that, confused by depression, convinced him to take this final act.

Walking up the steps after my run, it almost seemed as if this was a message from Al, now that all is clear and he is safely home. Please tell them, I didn’t want to leave them home alone.

Sorry my posting today is a bit grim. But it’s what God gave me. 10-4.


About wlebolt

Life comes at you fast. I like to catch it and toss it back. Or toss it up to see where it lands. I do my best thinking when I'm moving. And my best writing when I am tapping my foot to a beat no one else hears. Kinesthetic to the core.

Posted on October 4, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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