Perhaps I am bi-polar by design?

Who am I? Am I a health and fitness professional who likes to write? Or am I a writer who likes to be healthy and fit? One day I’m one; the next day I am the other. Can’t I just “arrive” already?

Today’s answer is no. Every time I land in one camp I am propelled toward the other. When I move, I think of all the things that need writing about. When I write, all the people come to mind who have dreams I might help them meet. In other words, I am caught in a vicious cycle. Well, not vicious, more like perpetual.

Perhaps this is because I am the same in each camp. My identity remains the same. The person I was created to be just circulates between viewpoints. Continuously. And, just so I don’t get too comfortable in one realm, the minute I snuggle on in, I get these pings. Toward the other.

It feels very much, as I come to write about it (yes), as if I am in orbit around two large planets, each with their own gravitational pulls. As I approach one, I am drawn into its orbit and slow in my revolution but then, when I emerge from the ‘dark side’ I see the other planet and I am sling-shotted toward it… where I experience the same pull and the same slow and the same slingshot. I am caught in a celestial oval.

That’s not a bad thing I guess. I am moving, churning, passionately competing. All, while slowing on the turns and sprinting the straightaways. And each time friction or gravity threatens to claim me, I am launched again. Fast and furious. Full of ideas and energy.

Then I slow again. To consider, study, perform, delve.

Imagine, I’ve spent all these years trying to decide what I would be when I grow up and God has split me in two. Both of them me. Fully me. Propulsion, it seems, He has designed into the equation.

Don’t ask me the equation. I was never much good at physics.


About wlebolt

Life comes at you fast. I like to catch it and toss it back. Or toss it up to see where it lands. I do my best thinking when I'm moving. And my best writing when I am tapping my foot to a beat no one else hears. Kinesthetic to the core.

Posted on December 14, 2012, in Body, Mind and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Someone just recommended I write “whatever moves you at the time.” She is my writing teacher. Probably didn’t know she was giving me “healthy” advice. 🙂

  2. If I was a writer, I would wish I had written this! thank you!

  3. Susan, you are an encourager. As good as writing, and much more socially acceptable. 🙂

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