Archive for November, 2014
Failure isn’t fatal
2It’s fortunate.
It tells us
we have reached the point
where we can no longer continue without change,
without a new approach,
a new learning.
We have reached the limit of
our current ability.
It gives us a measure
of where we are today, and
how far we’ve come.
It is a limit without limiting,
a boundary without bounding.
To the extent we can see beyond our point of failure,
it shows us what we can be,
what we might be,
if we commit ourselves to
being better,
by doing better,
because we know better is out there
calling to us.
It doesn’t taunt or tease.
It bows our head in defeat
showing us
the line
we stand on
is the starting line.
Helicopter Parenting: It’s Biblical!
0“… the mother of Zebedee’s sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him. “What is it you want?” (Jesus) asked. She said, “Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.” (Matthew 20:20-21)
Oh my goodness, we’ve been helicopter parenting for 2000 years!
This mother is interceding herself between her sons and the Lord Himself in order to be sure they get the best seats at the table.
After it didn’t work out with Dad and the family fishing business (They climbed out of the boat to follow the wandering man from Galilee.) Mom, now that Dad is probably no longer talking to the boys, rushes in just to be sure they’ll be all right.
Of course she does, because that’s what we do. We raise them and teach them and then, when they go their own way, we keep an eye on them just in case they need rescue. Our urge to save our kids is nearly insurmountable.
But then reality swoops in to save us from ourselves…
“You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said to them. “Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?”
“We can,” they answered.
We don’t hear from Mom after that. I’m thinking her helicopter came in for a crash landing.
Looking Our Best
0Funny, when the book needed an author photo, I thought, really, who would want to see me on the cover of this thing? But it’s a coaching and fitness book, and don’t you want to know who you’re taking advice from? Does she look like she practices what she preaches? Can you trust her? Would you want to get to know her?
So, there I am, with the high intensity lights shining on me, the background screen fixed just so. Tilt your head this way, says Mark the photographer. Look that way. Cross your arms. Now, that did it, because give me a defiant posture and I’m on.
All the while I’m thinking, this photo will go on the work You are doing in me, Lord. How can I possibly say that in how I look? Will your light shine when all I see now are spotlights and all I’m hearing is instructions?
It was a nice day so we moved outside. And wouldn’t you know there was a soccer field just down the hill, so we traipsed over there, past the middle-aged guy playing his guitar in the parking lot, by himself, to an empty soccer field. Now, we have a new source of light, the sun. But instead of au naturel, we will be using a large reflective screen that looks very much like the one I put in my car window on very hot days. My photographer’s assistant positions herself to reflect the light of the sun onto me, standing alone on an old soccer field, and Mark clicks away.
I worry out loud. You know my eyes tend to close when I smile, especially the right one. Try not to get my pants, they don’t match my shirt. And sneakers! Why didn’t I didn’t think to bring my turf shoes? Or a ball? Thank goodness they have a ball.
I don’t actually see what the photographer sees. I see me, the me who really doesn’t belong on a book jacket, who can’t believe she has hired a professional to take her photo and is right now at a photo shoot like some kind of movie star.
“Oh, I can open up your eyes later,” Mark tells me, “and air brush out the pants.”
Really? He can take away the imperfections?
It’s amazing how just knowing that takes away your reluctance and shelves your inhibitions. This guy is going to make me look just right! No external assurances, no ‘oh, you look fine’s’ or ‘don’t worry about it, people won’t notice’s’ or ‘you’re just being silly’s’ would have done to me in that moment what his words did. His ‘I will perfect you’ released what was inside of me to be just me. Nothing else would have done it and yet, it’s the promise we all have and the gift we are all offered.
I’ll touch up later what’s not quite perfect yet. Trusting that is what gets us ever so close to what He intends for our now.
Are you leaving a margin?
2What if we printed our books and wrote our essays right up to the very edges leaving no margin? Wouldn’t that be a much a better use of our space. Why waste all that good white paper around the edges?
I know. I know. The book publishers out there will tell me it’s easier on the eyes, better for binding, and cleaner for copy to leave a margin. But there is a better reason: it’s jotting room. A place to make note, respond, or converse with the author, whom you may imagine is sitting there with you, reading or speaking these printed words to you.
Apparently, I am not the first to discover this and even to value this. There is actually a project called Book Traces which is seeking books with notes in the margin or entries in blank space or even with things shoved in them for safe-keeping. As libraries go digital, these treasures are in danger of being lost. They are asking for help:
Thousands of old library books bear fascinating traces of the past. Readers wrote in their books, and left notes, pictures, letters, flowers, locks of hair, and other things between their pages. We need your help identifying them because many are in danger of being discarded as libraries go digital. Books printed between 1820 and 1923 are at particular risk. Help us prove the value of maintaining rich print collections in our libraries.
Ironically, the books they are particularly trying to save – pre-copyright books published before 1923 – do not qualify as rare or fit for special collections, because they are considered damaged because of their marginalia. I would call them personalized, but to find their personality each has to be opened and examined.
A University of Virginia English professor found a tale of lost love in a 1891 copy of Longfellow’s poetry he pulled from the shelves at the Alderman library. In it, Jane Chapman Slaughter, one of the first women to receive a PhD from the University, wrote in a blank front page,
“Our readings together were in this book, ere you went to your life of work and sacrifice, and I remained to my life of infinite yearning for your presence, the sound of your voice; a yearning never to be satisfied in this world or the next.” (more here)
Ah, books are more than printed pages. There is printing, for sure. Words lived and spoken and acted out. But those margins have purpose:
- So we can expand our thinking?
- So we can share our thoughts?
- So we can reach out to others?
- So our eyes can rest from their reading?
- So we can doodle during the Service?
Somehow, my creativity is meant to go there. I’m meant to be a bit more adventuresome, to try things out, squeeze it in, go sideways or up and down. Perhaps shade or circle, foot print, teardrop or floralate. (yep – just made that up) The margins let me be me, even when we are all looking at the same printed text. They let me put my signature flourish or quiet discontent in writing. After all, who will ever read them?
But what if someone did? What will they say to those who never knew me? Perhaps more than I would say, were I to be standing there wearing my most honest, politically correct and socially acceptable face. There, in the margins, I stand exposed.
Regrettably, so much of my life is pushed to the very edges, leaving no margin, no room for error, no padding, and no comfort zone. There is no room left for whatever might come along.
What if I treated margin as it’s meant to be treated, not as extra room to fill, but extra space for extending?
- Time for someone who needs it.
- Patience for a child who deserves it.
- Calm for a body that rests in it.
- Quiet for a mind that expands in it.
Then in the end, in the very end, there will be room around the edges, just enough for the affixing of our frames in the banquet hall of masterpieces. We will be not only justified by our typewriters, but by our Lord. Oh, our words do echo through the generations, perhaps because the Word Himself left a margin for us.
Religion or Spirituality, which is it?
3Religion is the menu. Spirituality is the meal.
Religion is the score. Spirituality is the music.
Religion is what they hand down to you…the codified beliefs. Spirituality is how you live out your ultimate commitments.
It’s what drives you to embody your values.
Religion, you inherit. Spirituality, you create.
– Jan Phillips, October 2014 “Museletter” http://tinyurl.com/l6gmfrf