Today, I am to have a test which will tell me about the inside of my heart. Doctors who know about this stuff say that the view from the outside was unclear, “technically difficult.” Something about ribs getting in the way. Go figure. My husband tells me, trying to be helpful, that this is a bonus. I can get a preview of my coronary arteries, no extra charge. I’m not sure I want that.
This reminds of the little old guys – wonderful men – who I cared for as part of our GWU Cardiac Rehab Program many years ago. I was doing my Masters thesis and wanted them to fill out a “health risk appraisal.” The report would give them their “risk age,” which was their age modified based on how healthy their lifestyle was. One of them told me he didn’t want to do the survey because he “didn’t want to know when he would die.”
And so now they are looking into my heart. I wonder what they will find there. My lifestyle is pretty healthy. I eat right and exercise. I take my vitamins and see my doctor regularly. I don’t smoke and do consume alcohol in moderation. I try to control my stress and have a healthy God-driven attitude toward life. But what do these things really mean about the inside of my heart? The way it was made. One cannot exercise away anomalies.
Scripture tells us that God knows our hearts. Not only the outside. Even the inside He can see clearly. He looks into our hearts, maybe moment by moment. Today I am thinking that this doesn’t just mean He sees our emotions and our feelings and our attitude toward things. He sees the heart’s inner-workings. He goes beyond the temple curtain to the Holy of Holies. In fact He resides there. He knows it intimately. He made us and we are His.
The study today will hold no surprises for Him. He already knows. Now, it will be for my doctors to see whatever is revealed there. And to share it with me. Whatever they say, that will be Good News.
Lord, in your mercy, hear my prayer.